Love Story: WITNESS
“Yah! What are you doing here?!” someone yelled behind me.
“Aish! Busted!” I whispered. I quickly put the box I was holding back on the table, and turned to face him. “Ah… Kyuhyun oppa… you’re home… I…uhmmm… I was just…” Wah! What am I going to do now?! Think Edline Kim! Think! “I was cleaning…” was all I could say, and I pretended to wipe the table… with my SHIRT!
“You think you can fool me? Am I that big a fool for you?!” he asked. “Why would you clean my room?” he eyed me intently then his eyes dropped to the table. He jumped on the bed and went past me and grabbed the box I was holding earlier. “I told you… you aren’t supposed to come inside my room when I’m not here!”
“Aish! I was worried when you didn’t come to fetch me last night, and you didn’t even bother to answer my calls!” he looked at me… there was something in his eyes that I couldn’t determine, was it guilt? Or sadness? “I… I forgot… I was with Ryukie hyung all night.”
Aish! There he goes again… he’s always out with that Ryukie guy these days… Since they met, we were never the same again. It’s like he’s been living a life very different than of mine, of course, he would still help me with my school work from time to time, but I missed those times that we went to their orchard when we’ve got nothing to do… and just play around. I missed our lengthy conversations, when we talked about everything, even our many crushes… back then, he used to bring a small dagger whenever we went there, and we’d carve their names, our crushes, on the trees… and when the time came that we did not fancy them anymore, we’d cross them out.
“Kyuhyun oppa…” I said as I sat beside him on his bed, “don’t you want to be friends with me anymore?” I asked him, teary-eyed.
“Edline-sshi…” he said as he sat up and locked me up in his arms, “being your b-best friend… is the best job there is…”
“Oppa…”
“So don’t you ever think that I don’t want to be your friend, okay? I wouldn’t give you up for the world…”
***
I once had a suitor, Lee Donghae. We went out on dates and all, but it didn’t last long, because of what happened one night that he accompanied me home from dinner. We found Kyuhyun sitting outside me house, he was drunk and didn’t make much sense. He stood up when he saw us.
“I told you not to come near her again!” he yelled pointing at Donghae.
“Oppa! What are you talking about?!” I asked him but he didn’t take notice of me. He went past me and punched Donghae square on the face, which made him fall. “Oppa!” I screamed, “Stop it!” I yelled at Kyuhyun, “You’re drunk, you better go home,” I said as I made my way to help Donghae.
“Aish!” Kyuhyun shouted and turned to leave. I really couldn’t understand why he was behaving such…
***
We didn’t talk to each other for about a month after that. Actually, I didn’t talk to him. Aish! He was so annoying! I liked Donghae so much, but after that… he didn’t ask me out again… I tried to approach him, but he always found an alibi to leave and not talk to me. What’s happening?! It’s like I’m in a parallel world or something…
“I’m going to the US.”
“Huh?! Why?” I asked.
“I’m going to continue studying there…” Kyuhyun answered.
“But why do you have to go there?! You’re leaving me?!”
“It’s what appa wants… there’s nothing I can do about it. Edline-sshi… I’ll come back…”
“But you’re leaving now… I’m gonna be alone… oppa… please…” I begged.
“Mianhe Edline-sshi… I have to go… you don’t have to come to the airport… goodbye.” He walked away while I broke down. I was on my knees as I watched him get farther and farther. He didn’t even look back.
“Oppa…” he was gone… and there was nothing I could do about it. He left me. My best friend. The only best friend I ever had.
***
Kyuhyun was gone… a little less than a year when Ryukie told me that he was coming back.
“Why?!” I asked.
“I don’t know… that was all he said. He’s coming back.”
I was so excited. Only a week to wait for Kyuhyun oppa’s return. I missed him so much… I prepared myself… heck! I even prepared his room! And when the day finally came… I was with Ryukie in the airport… he’ll be coming back with both his parents. I wonder why though. It was a real puzzle.
“They’re here…” Ryukie whispered in my ear. I jumped in surprise. I craned my head to look for them in the growing crowd. And I saw them. No I saw Kyuhyun’s appa… then his eomma… then… before I could ask Ryukie, I noticed the guy on the wheelchair… it was… Kyuhyun.
“Edline-sshi!” he shouted as he waved his right hand vigorously. He was smiling from ear to ear. But he looked so pale. Like all the melanine in his body had him. I noticed that he also had no hair anymore. Oh my God… what happened to him?!
***
We went directly from the airport to the hospital. Kyuhyun, as they said, had brain tumor. And he was dying. It was the real reason why he went to the states. He lied to me…
He only had a week to live. That was what the doctors said. So we just had to make the best of the time that was left for us. We went back to the orchard… we played all the games we used to when we were children…and we talked… like we never had before.
On the forth day, he looked as weak as ever. He looked at me, held my hand, and said, “Saranghe.” And that was all… he was gone.
I couldn’t stop crying… it felt as if the heavens had fallen on me. Kyuhyun was gone… and I was all alone again. After his burial, I sat outside the church where we went as children. I was still crying, but I felt no tears flowing from my eyes.
“Edline-sshi…” it was Ryukie. “Here,” he said. “Kyuhyun wanted me to give this to you.” He handed me a small box. It was the same box that I so wanted to open years ago. I opened it, and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the sight of the contents. PICTURES. Pictures upon pictures upon pictures. Our pictures… starting from those taken when we were still kids… when I graduated from high school… every important event in my life… birthdays… and even dates… with other guys. Under the pictures, at he very bottom of the box was a letter. I wiped the tears that, I realized, started to fall again. I took the letter and read it:
Edline,
By the time you’re reading this, I’m already gone. Mianhe. I’m sorry for leaving you like this… I’m sorry for ever leaving you behind. I didn’t want to. I never wanted to. But I had no choice, I thought that if I left for the U.S., then maybe I’d have a greater chance to recover from this cursed illness. I had to take the chance, Edline, because it gave me hope that I could live a bit longer and be with you. But I couldn’t, my prayers weren’t heard. And now… I have to leave you again.
About Donghae… I know you might have lots of questions about him, I just hope that my simple explanation would suffice. I met with him about a week into your relationship. I commanded him to leave you, I threatened him. I told him that I don’t want to see him around you again… but he loved you Edline… he really did and I knew it. But I also knew that he wouldn’t have felt for you as much as I was, and still am feeling for you. I tried hard, Edline, to tell that I do love you… since the beginning… your smile and laughter always made my day… and your tears… break me up into a thousand pieces. I learned to cry because of you… I learned to laugh… but most of all… I learned and I became strong because of you… and you never knew about it. I love you, Edline… I really do.
Do you remember that night, Edline…? We were supposed to go to this party… your mom wouldn’t let you go without me. I didn’t forget, even if I said that I did. I didn’t… I tried… coz I wanted to make it stop. Because… I knew that I don’t have anything on you… I knew that you wouldn’t have loved me back… so I went out with the boys, and I deliberately ignored you calls, but I couldn’t. So I went to your house, yes, Edline, I was there… I watched you cry. I heard your curses. You wanted to go to that party so hard, and I blew it for you. I messed up… I’m sorry.
I meant to write to you while I was away… I did writ to you. I wrote every waking day of my life there. I just never had the courage to actually them, when all of their contents were of my feelings for you. You would’ve been bore to death if you got to read them…
I missed you, Edline, I missed you so much. And I’m gonna miss you even more now that I’m gone. I was born 5 months before you, so I had to wait that long before there was happiness in my world. I am yours Edline… no one was ever able to take me away… no one… nothing, not time… not space… not even death… I will be waiting… take your time… live a long and happy life… Saranghe.
I still wouldn’t give you up for the world…
***
“Edline-sshi…” Ryukie called from behind me, I quickly wiped my tears, “there’s something else I have to show you.”
“What?” I asked him as I folded Kyuhyun’s letter and put them back inside the box with the pictures. He offered me a hand, so I took it.
“It’s in the orchard,” he answered. I was surprised. He knew about the orchard. He knew about everything, when I only found out that Kyuhyun was sick when he was already actually dying?! “Yes, Edline-sshi, he’d told me stuff about the two of you… he told me about the trees and the names, and then there are things that he had told me that involved you but you’ve never realized… like the one that I’m supposed to show you now. And yes, I know, right from the start, about his illness. Kyuhyun learned about it during our freshman year in college, and when he did… he was devastated. I think, if I’m not mistaken, that was before you started going out with that Donghae guy. Kyuhyun was torn into pieces, literally, that’s why he threatened Donghae… I never knew that he could be that kind of a bully. But he was… just for you.”
I couldn’t say anything… we just walked side by side to the farm. When we reached the trees where Kyuhyun and I used to carve all those names I stopped, but Ryukie just walked on. “It’s not there,” he said.
“But where is it? What am I supposed to look for?!” I replied.
“You’re not looking for anything. I know exactly what it is that I have to show you.” We walked on… we passed about twenty trees or so, when I noticed one tree that had a blue ribbon tied around it.
“What is that?” I asked.
“That’s what I’m showing you now,” he said as he took off the ribbon from the tree. It revealed my name. EDLINE was carved on that tree… “Kyuhyun did it. When he was twelve…”
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed. When he was twelve?! And he’s never crossed it out…
“He tied this ribbon on it so he will never cross it out. But I think he would never have, even if he didn’t put this on it,” he explained.
There was a resounding thunder after that. And it started to rain. “Come on… let’s go home,” Ryukie said.
“No… you go. Just leave me here… please,” I replied.
“Are you sure?”
“Ne.”
“Arasso… but I’m gonna leave this umbrella… you wouldn’t want to catch cold. Take care Edline-sshi,” he said and left.
I stood there for a mere minute. Staring blankly on the name carved on the tree. I was already soaking wet, but I didn’t feel cold. No, I was warm... I felt so warm because I had just learned of Kyuhyun’s love for me.
I turned my back on the tree and walked to the opposite direction. I walked towards this certain tree in the orchard where I alone carved the greatest love of my life. A tree which Kyuhyun probably never saw in his lifetime… the tree that was witness to my unconfessed love for JO KYUHYUN…
“Yah! What are you doing here?!” someone yelled behind me.
“Aish! Busted!” I whispered. I quickly put the box I was holding back on the table, and turned to face him. “Ah… Kyuhyun oppa… you’re home… I…uhmmm… I was just…” Wah! What am I going to do now?! Think Edline Kim! Think! “I was cleaning…” was all I could say, and I pretended to wipe the table… with my SHIRT!
“You think you can fool me? Am I that big a fool for you?!” he asked. “Why would you clean my room?” he eyed me intently then his eyes dropped to the table. He jumped on the bed and went past me and grabbed the box I was holding earlier. “I told you… you aren’t supposed to come inside my room when I’m not here!”
“Aish! I was worried when you didn’t come to fetch me last night, and you didn’t even bother to answer my calls!” he looked at me… there was something in his eyes that I couldn’t determine, was it guilt? Or sadness? “I… I forgot… I was with Ryukie hyung all night.”
Aish! There he goes again… he’s always out with that Ryukie guy these days… Since they met, we were never the same again. It’s like he’s been living a life very different than of mine, of course, he would still help me with my school work from time to time, but I missed those times that we went to their orchard when we’ve got nothing to do… and just play around. I missed our lengthy conversations, when we talked about everything, even our many crushes… back then, he used to bring a small dagger whenever we went there, and we’d carve their names, our crushes, on the trees… and when the time came that we did not fancy them anymore, we’d cross them out.
“Kyuhyun oppa…” I said as I sat beside him on his bed, “don’t you want to be friends with me anymore?” I asked him, teary-eyed.
“Edline-sshi…” he said as he sat up and locked me up in his arms, “being your b-best friend… is the best job there is…”
“Oppa…”
“So don’t you ever think that I don’t want to be your friend, okay? I wouldn’t give you up for the world…”
***
I once had a suitor, Lee Donghae. We went out on dates and all, but it didn’t last long, because of what happened one night that he accompanied me home from dinner. We found Kyuhyun sitting outside me house, he was drunk and didn’t make much sense. He stood up when he saw us.
“I told you not to come near her again!” he yelled pointing at Donghae.
“Oppa! What are you talking about?!” I asked him but he didn’t take notice of me. He went past me and punched Donghae square on the face, which made him fall. “Oppa!” I screamed, “Stop it!” I yelled at Kyuhyun, “You’re drunk, you better go home,” I said as I made my way to help Donghae.
“Aish!” Kyuhyun shouted and turned to leave. I really couldn’t understand why he was behaving such…
***
We didn’t talk to each other for about a month after that. Actually, I didn’t talk to him. Aish! He was so annoying! I liked Donghae so much, but after that… he didn’t ask me out again… I tried to approach him, but he always found an alibi to leave and not talk to me. What’s happening?! It’s like I’m in a parallel world or something…
“I’m going to the US.”
“Huh?! Why?” I asked.
“I’m going to continue studying there…” Kyuhyun answered.
“But why do you have to go there?! You’re leaving me?!”
“It’s what appa wants… there’s nothing I can do about it. Edline-sshi… I’ll come back…”
“But you’re leaving now… I’m gonna be alone… oppa… please…” I begged.
“Mianhe Edline-sshi… I have to go… you don’t have to come to the airport… goodbye.” He walked away while I broke down. I was on my knees as I watched him get farther and farther. He didn’t even look back.
“Oppa…” he was gone… and there was nothing I could do about it. He left me. My best friend. The only best friend I ever had.
***
Kyuhyun was gone… a little less than a year when Ryukie told me that he was coming back.
“Why?!” I asked.
“I don’t know… that was all he said. He’s coming back.”
I was so excited. Only a week to wait for Kyuhyun oppa’s return. I missed him so much… I prepared myself… heck! I even prepared his room! And when the day finally came… I was with Ryukie in the airport… he’ll be coming back with both his parents. I wonder why though. It was a real puzzle.
“They’re here…” Ryukie whispered in my ear. I jumped in surprise. I craned my head to look for them in the growing crowd. And I saw them. No I saw Kyuhyun’s appa… then his eomma… then… before I could ask Ryukie, I noticed the guy on the wheelchair… it was… Kyuhyun.
“Edline-sshi!” he shouted as he waved his right hand vigorously. He was smiling from ear to ear. But he looked so pale. Like all the melanine in his body had him. I noticed that he also had no hair anymore. Oh my God… what happened to him?!
***
We went directly from the airport to the hospital. Kyuhyun, as they said, had brain tumor. And he was dying. It was the real reason why he went to the states. He lied to me…
He only had a week to live. That was what the doctors said. So we just had to make the best of the time that was left for us. We went back to the orchard… we played all the games we used to when we were children…and we talked… like we never had before.
On the forth day, he looked as weak as ever. He looked at me, held my hand, and said, “Saranghe.” And that was all… he was gone.
I couldn’t stop crying… it felt as if the heavens had fallen on me. Kyuhyun was gone… and I was all alone again. After his burial, I sat outside the church where we went as children. I was still crying, but I felt no tears flowing from my eyes.
“Edline-sshi…” it was Ryukie. “Here,” he said. “Kyuhyun wanted me to give this to you.” He handed me a small box. It was the same box that I so wanted to open years ago. I opened it, and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the sight of the contents. PICTURES. Pictures upon pictures upon pictures. Our pictures… starting from those taken when we were still kids… when I graduated from high school… every important event in my life… birthdays… and even dates… with other guys. Under the pictures, at he very bottom of the box was a letter. I wiped the tears that, I realized, started to fall again. I took the letter and read it:
Edline,
By the time you’re reading this, I’m already gone. Mianhe. I’m sorry for leaving you like this… I’m sorry for ever leaving you behind. I didn’t want to. I never wanted to. But I had no choice, I thought that if I left for the U.S., then maybe I’d have a greater chance to recover from this cursed illness. I had to take the chance, Edline, because it gave me hope that I could live a bit longer and be with you. But I couldn’t, my prayers weren’t heard. And now… I have to leave you again.
About Donghae… I know you might have lots of questions about him, I just hope that my simple explanation would suffice. I met with him about a week into your relationship. I commanded him to leave you, I threatened him. I told him that I don’t want to see him around you again… but he loved you Edline… he really did and I knew it. But I also knew that he wouldn’t have felt for you as much as I was, and still am feeling for you. I tried hard, Edline, to tell that I do love you… since the beginning… your smile and laughter always made my day… and your tears… break me up into a thousand pieces. I learned to cry because of you… I learned to laugh… but most of all… I learned and I became strong because of you… and you never knew about it. I love you, Edline… I really do.
Do you remember that night, Edline…? We were supposed to go to this party… your mom wouldn’t let you go without me. I didn’t forget, even if I said that I did. I didn’t… I tried… coz I wanted to make it stop. Because… I knew that I don’t have anything on you… I knew that you wouldn’t have loved me back… so I went out with the boys, and I deliberately ignored you calls, but I couldn’t. So I went to your house, yes, Edline, I was there… I watched you cry. I heard your curses. You wanted to go to that party so hard, and I blew it for you. I messed up… I’m sorry.
I meant to write to you while I was away… I did writ to you. I wrote every waking day of my life there. I just never had the courage to actually them, when all of their contents were of my feelings for you. You would’ve been bore to death if you got to read them…
I missed you, Edline, I missed you so much. And I’m gonna miss you even more now that I’m gone. I was born 5 months before you, so I had to wait that long before there was happiness in my world. I am yours Edline… no one was ever able to take me away… no one… nothing, not time… not space… not even death… I will be waiting… take your time… live a long and happy life… Saranghe.
I still wouldn’t give you up for the world…
***
“Edline-sshi…” Ryukie called from behind me, I quickly wiped my tears, “there’s something else I have to show you.”
“What?” I asked him as I folded Kyuhyun’s letter and put them back inside the box with the pictures. He offered me a hand, so I took it.
“It’s in the orchard,” he answered. I was surprised. He knew about the orchard. He knew about everything, when I only found out that Kyuhyun was sick when he was already actually dying?! “Yes, Edline-sshi, he’d told me stuff about the two of you… he told me about the trees and the names, and then there are things that he had told me that involved you but you’ve never realized… like the one that I’m supposed to show you now. And yes, I know, right from the start, about his illness. Kyuhyun learned about it during our freshman year in college, and when he did… he was devastated. I think, if I’m not mistaken, that was before you started going out with that Donghae guy. Kyuhyun was torn into pieces, literally, that’s why he threatened Donghae… I never knew that he could be that kind of a bully. But he was… just for you.”
I couldn’t say anything… we just walked side by side to the farm. When we reached the trees where Kyuhyun and I used to carve all those names I stopped, but Ryukie just walked on. “It’s not there,” he said.
“But where is it? What am I supposed to look for?!” I replied.
“You’re not looking for anything. I know exactly what it is that I have to show you.” We walked on… we passed about twenty trees or so, when I noticed one tree that had a blue ribbon tied around it.
“What is that?” I asked.
“That’s what I’m showing you now,” he said as he took off the ribbon from the tree. It revealed my name. EDLINE was carved on that tree… “Kyuhyun did it. When he was twelve…”
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed. When he was twelve?! And he’s never crossed it out…
“He tied this ribbon on it so he will never cross it out. But I think he would never have, even if he didn’t put this on it,” he explained.
There was a resounding thunder after that. And it started to rain. “Come on… let’s go home,” Ryukie said.
“No… you go. Just leave me here… please,” I replied.
“Are you sure?”
“Ne.”
“Arasso… but I’m gonna leave this umbrella… you wouldn’t want to catch cold. Take care Edline-sshi,” he said and left.
I stood there for a mere minute. Staring blankly on the name carved on the tree. I was already soaking wet, but I didn’t feel cold. No, I was warm... I felt so warm because I had just learned of Kyuhyun’s love for me.
I turned my back on the tree and walked to the opposite direction. I walked towards this certain tree in the orchard where I alone carved the greatest love of my life. A tree which Kyuhyun probably never saw in his lifetime… the tree that was witness to my unconfessed love for JO KYUHYUN…
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